Tips for Discussing Finances with Your Family
Talking about money can be one of the most stressful conversations a family can have, especially when it involves asking for or offering help. Pride, fear, and a desire for independence can make it difficult for seniors to admit they are struggling. For adult children, there is often a fear of overstepping boundaries or making their parents feel like a burden. Approaching this topic with sensitivity and a spirit of teamwork is key to a positive outcome.
One of the best ways to start the conversation is to frame it around health and well-being, not just money. Instead of asking, “Are you running out of money?” you could say, “I want to make sure you’re able to get all the healthy food you need. I was reading about a nutrition program for seniors called SNAP, and I thought we could look into it together.” This shifts the focus from financial failure to proactive health management. It presents SNAP as a tool for independence, not a sign of dependence.
It is also important to address the stigma that some people feel about accepting assistance. You can gently remind your loved one that SNAP is not a handout. It is a federal program funded by the same tax dollars they contributed throughout their working lives. Accessing it is like claiming Social Security or Medicare; it is a benefit they have earned. Comparing it to a senior discount at the grocery store can also help normalize it as a smart financial move.
Offering concrete, practical help is often more effective than just talking. An adult child can offer, “Mom, why don’t I help you gather the paperwork for the application?” or “Dad, I can sit with you while you fill out the online form if you’d like.” This shows support without being patronizing. It turns a daunting task into a shared project. If you are the senior needing help, don’t be afraid to be specific in your request. Saying, “Could you please help me find my last bank statement?” is an easy entry point for a family member who wants to help but doesn’t know how.
Using “we” language can foster a sense of partnership. Phrases like “Let’s figure out your monthly budget together” or “We can call the senior center to see what resources are available” create a team dynamic. It reinforces the message that you are all in this together, and no one has to face these challenges alone. These conversations are not easy, but they are an act of love. They are about ensuring the health, dignity, and security of the people who matter most.
General resources for seniors and their families can be found at the National Council on Aging (NCOA).
