You don’t admit your fears
Your dear adult child is preparing to embark on a lifelong journey, and you’re pretty sure that they don’t know 100% what it’s all about. So it shouldn’t come as a surprise if you feel a little bit alarmed and even worried about them; it’s only natural.
Whatever might concern you, the best thing you can do is hold it in. Your child needs a lot of support, and the last thing they should feel right now is the dread of beloved parents. Even if you notice something that you’d never do, bear in mind that everyone makes mistakes, and sometimes the best way to learn is by making mistakes. It’s only human.
You don’t project
You might have had a nightmarish birth with awful forceps, hallucinations, and seven residents who didn’t know what you needed. Or, your dear child might have been a shocking sleeper, keeping you up all night, or refused to eat anything other than peas for the first three years of life.
However, that was YOUR experience, and it doesn’t have to resemble your child’s. Your child might have a completely different one, so the last thing you want to do is project your fears and memories onto them.
Remember that you’ve been here, too, and you didn’t have a single clue how most things would work out; the same goes for them, too. That’s why, in such cases, you need to be empathetic and offer constant practical support, but constantly going back to your own parental traumas isn’t one of them. At the same time, you might be dealing with your own deep-seated issues, but remember that those are your issues and yours alone.
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