Motivate your decisions with “Because I said so!”
Another thing you should not tell your grandchildren, if possibly ever, is “Because I said so!”. While we know that they can have a million questions, and if you are in a bad mood at one point and get fed up with them, you need to remember that they are indeed children, and taking out your frustration on them is not good, even if they caused it. Not to mention, using this sentence to tell your grandchildren is the lazy way out and sets a dangerous precedent.
You are sending them a message that they do not deserve a real answer and that their questions are stupid, which in turn will make them feel stupid. You may not intend to say this when you tell your grandkids that, but they are not old enough most of the time to understand what you truly mean. They will feel devalued, which leads to them having negative feelings about you, and it can lead to them misbehaving when you are around. Kids generally use the same methods you employ, but with how they interpret them: they feel dismissed, and they will also dismiss you!
All you need to do is give them a simple answer. And if the subject is serious or more mature, you can give them the age-appropriate version without lying or making things up if it is outside your comfort level. And remember! If you do not want to tell your grandkids about something, you can always tell them to ask their parents for a full explanation.
30 Responses
I’m not familiar with ap classes, but if they provide the benefits listed, I would encourage young people to participate in such a class.
AP classes are the more difficult classes. Also, if you’re in high school, those classes make a better impression on universities when you’re applying. They really do have better information on the subject matter.
In most cases, your initial statement hit my “yeah,but …” switch, but your expanded explanation or suggestions were decently on-target.
I WILL say, thst you must know your audience. For a prime example,”Because I said so. I’ll explain why after (whatever-,it-is) is over.” In sufficiently dire circumstances, sweet reason may take more time than you have.
I have said all of here phrases LoL I work with adolescents (teenage boys) the last 3 are definant shares used often.
You don’t know anything about kids. If you stop and communicate with them they CAN understand what you are talking about.
You have avery good point. That said, If you read their explanation, they mostly said the same as you. The suggestions they offered were generally not at all bad.
I grew up hearing these comments from my parents over my childhood. My parents do not have a relationship with their grandchildren or great grandchildren, they have a disrespect for children that I grew up with and unfortunately it extends to other members of the family. My mother is very negative about many areas in life. She complains about behaviors that people do and bugs them about the behaviors that they do. Like scratching too much irate my mother or coughing too much. She can be nerve-racking to be around when she is in these moods. Unfortunately, my mother does not do anything with her great grandkids. I see the INOGEN commercials, and I think unfortunately that is not my mother.
Well, i haven’t had a mother since I was 13….stop complaining
Wow. I was 14 when I lost mine.
How ignorant – anyone with common sense and respect would not use these phrases. I’m 82 and have a healthy relationship with grandkids and am always honest and straightforward, encouraging but not ridiculous. If anyone is still doing the things in this article, STOP!
Yess Nancy 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 absolutely I couldn’t agree with u more …I was just talking with my grandkids about my grandma last telling them that she prob would of scared them just by her voice if they were doing smthg they shouldn’t be LOL…but she would 🩵🩵🩵…them so so much & spoil them rotten just as she done myself & there mommy …i sure miss her dearly…she was the bestest friend ill ever have in my entire life …I love u grandma..rip 😘😘😘
I would give my life to see my only grandson 💙.
Unfortunately that will never happen. I’m pushing 75, and Haven see him since 1999. His Maternal family isn’t allowing it. Ever since his mother paralyzed my son for life. I miss him SO MUCH.
I understand…I haven’t seen my mother since I was 13
Your grandson is grown. Contact him yourself. For all you know his Maternal family may have told him you died when he was a baby. If he does not want to meet you then let it be. You could be pleasantly surprised. I would give it a try.
I completely agree. If he is an adult then it is his choice and not theirs whether he wants to see you or not. All he can tell you is yes or no.
So he is at least 25 now?
Sorry, but Nobody is keeping you from seeing him but you and him.
I Love this. These are precisely the areas I am consciously working on. I encourage my 7 grands to be kind, accepting of other’s opinions, and being kindest to your siblings, parents, and family. I regularly ask “would you speak like that to your friends? Your siblings are your first friends.”
You did n0t tell what you should not tell them you dont know your self because every body Re not the same.stop saying that.youall dont do nothing but give peoples the wrong messiage. Just tell themabout the creator .the father. Now you be Bless
yes the article DID provide what to say instead
All but one of them.
this ia all bs
In most cases, your initial statement hit my “yeah,but …” switch, but your expanded explanation or suggestions were decently on-target.
I WILL say, thst you must know your audience. For a prime example,”Because I said so. I’ll explain why after is over.” In sufficiently dire circumstances, sweet reason may take more time than you have.
Never tell ’em that the money is buried in the backyard…..right next to their real daddy.
Loved this updated advice! All so true about these “mixed signals advice”!
Me thinks some of these psychologists need a psychiatrist
The author says to never say, “If you cannot say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.” The author adds, “This does not mean that you should let the kids in your family be rude.” Sorry. Wrong. This phrase is said to a smart aleck kid after they have made a particularly nasty comment. Like, “A 2 year old could do better!” Not for a neutral comment, like, “It’s OK.” It is ONLY used to stop cruel, insulting, comments. It is GOOD.
So, where are they? I’m not going to keep clicking endlessly……
personally i will say, that if its bad i’m guilty but i don’t think its bad
I don’t have grand kids, But I disagree about #3.
Wow! Four things someone SHOULD have told these people about how to write:
1. Grammar
2. Syntax
3. Spelling
4. ENGLISH